The holidays are a great time to get together with family and friends, unless you have a hearing loss. If you have a hearing loss, it can be a time of great frustration. It can also be frustrating for those who do not have a hearing loss but want to communicate with those who do. Here are some tips to help you get through the holidays, and hopefully help your family or group of friends develop lifelong practices of good communication.
Growing up with a father who had profound hearing loss, I understand the frustrations on both sides of the communication equation. As a professional in the hearing loss world, nothing hits me harder emotionally than observing my Dad or my Grandparents having difficulty following conversations, or just not partaking in group discussions because they were unable to hear or read the lips of the other people. My entire career has been about ensuring equal and effective communication, so I would like to share some simple tips and practices that will aid communication with your loved ones.
- Remember that although hearing loss varies greatly from person to person and Sign Language is used by a percentage of the population who are Deaf, hearing loss occurs to 14% of the population, and even if the person has a severe to profound hearing loss, they may not learn Sign Language and simply use hearing aids, lip reading and other visual cues to help them understand what is going on and being said.
- Everyone involved in the conversation must have patience. If you have hearing loss, be patient with those attempting to communicate with you. If you do not have hearing loss, be patient with those who are trying to understand you. You will find that patience is the key to good communication, in every instance.
- When gathering in a room, consider where everyone is sitting. It is best to sit in a circle so that everyone can see each other. I’m not saying look like you are playing “Ring Around the Rosie” but sit in a fashion that allows everyone to be seen. This allows the person with hearing loss the ability to see faces and gauge emotions, read body language and lip read what they can.
- Practice “turn taking” during discussions. Have a rule that only one person talks at a time. This allows everyone to hear what is being said.
- Limit background noise. If you have music playing in the background, either turn it off or lower the sound.
- Maintain good lighting. If the person cannot see faces, they will be unable to lip read anyone. Shadows make reading facial expressions and lips almost impossible.
- If you are asked to repeat yourself, try saying your statement a different way. 60% of spoken English is formed in the back of the mouth or throat and only 40% is visible on the lips. Of that 40% that is visible…20% of the words look exactly alike on the lips. If you chose different words to convey what you are saying, you may choose words that are more visible on your lips.
- Do not be afraid to write important information down. If you have a hearing loss, do not be afraid to ask people to write things down or accept a note from someone. The goal is understanding.
- Use visual cues when you can. Pointing to the item or person you are talking about, or holding the item up and pointing to places on it as you speak will assist in clearer communication. I know pointing is generally considered rude to hearing people, but to people with hearing loss it is an effective way to aid comprehension.
- If the person with the hearing loss is trying to locate the person speaking, point to the person who is speaking so they can locate them easier. When you have hearing loss it can be difficult to know where noise is coming from.
- Make sure to enunciate your words…no mumbling! Mumbling is nearly impossible for people with hearing loss to understand, and quite honestly, even people with good hearing have a difficult time understanding people who mumble.
- Do not talk fast. It is ok to speak normally, but if you have a high speech rate, meaning you talk fast, try taking a breath between topics. Doing this assists everyone, not just people with hearing loss, in understanding what you are saying.
- If you have hearing loss and have hearing aids, you may want to consider wearing them if you do not. If your loved one has hearing aids they do not wear, understand it is their decision not to use them. Sometimes hearing aids can be difficult to use. Just be patient and use the tips in this article to help you communicate.
- If you have loved ones who wear hearing aids, please understand that loud noises such as alarms, screaming children or people, or loud music can be painful for them. Hearing aids amplify sound. If the sound is already loud it will come across even louder.
- Finally, if you notice someone is sitting back, not partaking in discussions, and they have not been diagnosed with a hearing loss, you may want to suggest they get their hearing tested. A person who is not hearing well, and it is a new development, may not have permanent hearing loss. There are many times when older adults have a lot of ear wax or an infection impeding their hearing. Removing wax or medicating an infection are easy ways to improve hearing.
My family used to always sit where we could see each other and we tried not to talk over each other. We were not perfect, and we made mistakes but ultimately, those little techniques assisted everyone with understanding each other. Patience though, that makes all the difference.
